How are your spirits?

“How are your spirits?”. How are my spirits? It’s the first question my boss asked a colleague and I during our check-in this week. “How are your spirits?”. It’s interesting because I’m rarely ever speechless, but this question caught me off guard and gave me pause. How are my spirits? As I replayed the question in my head, I realized that since Friday, March 13 at 3:38 pm when I pulled up in the carline to pick my children up from school for what I thought would be two-weeks of making sure that their school was safe for all students to return to now almost six months later and they are still at home and now settling in to do school virtually for who knows how long, I had not given the question much thought. “How are your spirits?”. The answer to that question should be obvious. I am worried about Covid-19; mourning the loss of family and friends; and everyday grieving for the life I used to know. I am trying to figure it all out; maintaining a full-time job while trying to actively support and monitor my children’s education at home. Did I make the right choice to keep them home? Are they learning enough? Am I doing enough? What are the long-term social implications? Will they ever be able to return to school? Can I really keep up this pace if they are unable to return to school? Are my children happy? Is my husband happy? Is my employer happy? How are MY spirits?!

I paused for what felt like hours and I replayed the days, the weeks, the months in my head. How are my spirits? My body ached. I was fatigued from the top of my head to the tiny nail on my pinky toe and I was counting down to the end of the day when I knew that I would fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, but ultimately the answer to the question surprised me. Although physically exhausted, my cup was full and I was in good spirits.

It seems that and that’s OK! Can you relate?...somewhere along the way, maybe through years of holding others accountable to prioritizing their well-being, I’d taught myself the importance of self-care. While every day is far from being perfect, I’d developed a level of emotional and mental resilience that continues to carry me through each day and because of that my spirits are good.

As an executive and life coach, I see it often. In times like these, our own self-care and mental health can suffer. We don’t always know it’s happening. As we are dutifully taking care of others, it sneaks up on us. You might notice you are feeling more on edge than usual, angry, helpless or sad. You might even notice that you are more frustrated with others or want to completely avoid any reminders of what is happening. For those of us who already struggle with our mental wellness, we might feel more anxiety, depressed or less motivated to carry out our daily activities.

It's not unusual to feel that way and it’s ok. Here are some strategies to consider:

1. Keep a positive attitude. Although it may seem too simple, keeping a positive attitude is key to deflecting stressors. One way to restructure your brain's response to stress is to stop pessimistic thoughts in their tracks. Ask yourself if there's any rational basis to feel negatively about a situation. Talk yourself down off of the ledge. Consider posting your favorite quotes or affirmations around your home or office in places in the places that you frequent. Daily confessions also do the trick. Recognize that you're in control of whether the glass is half-empty or half-full. So, be intentional about filling up your cup.

2. Gratitude. Gratitude journals and other gratitude practices often seem so simple and basic; and yet research show that the results can be amazing. Studies found that people who practice gratitude consistently report a host of benefits which include building stronger immune systems; lowering blood pressure and higher levels of positive emotions. I’ve needed all of it these last few months. With each page that I write in my gratitude journal, I feel my pressure lowering and my spirits lifting! You’d be surprised how taking the time to acknowledge and give thanks for what’s going well can make the challenges seem bearable.

3. Establish and nurture a supportive social network. Very few of us can "go at it alone”. Building a safety net of close relationships with friends or organizations can boost your emotional strength during times of stress. I’ve leaned A LOT on the moms of the children in my children’s classes and I look forward to opportunities to giggle with my sorority sisters and sister moms. I remind myself daily that asking for help doesn’t make me weak and making intentional time to connect with others is necessary for my well-being.

4. Prioritize your physical well-being. Regular exercise is often touted as one of the keys to cleansing your mind of stress, and with good reason. Regular physical activity has been linked to improvements in mood, cognition, regulation of emotion, immunity, and overall self-esteem. Exercise may seem trivial when you're faced with mounting stress and anxiety, so try to think of it as a welcome reprieve rather than as yet another task to be completed. Again, it's all about framing your mindset.

5. Play to your strengths. Comparison breeds unhealthy competition and both not only steal your joy, but they create unnecessary stress. Don’t do it! Be intentional about recognizing, utilizing, and growing your strengths to actively prepare for difficult and stressful situations. Do YOU! Spirituality, Gratitude, Humor, Optimism/Hope and Perseverance are my top five signature strengths. These past few months I have leaned into them more than ever. I laughed when I felt like crying; I looked for and found a silver lining in EVERYTHING and I spent quality time just being still and connecting with the creator. I felt renewed. What are your strengths? Identify them and do that?

So, how are your spirits? As you are prioritizing your family, your business, everything and everyone else, remember to take the time, No, MAKE THE TIME to do whatever you need to care for yourself. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty to cup and your well-being matters!